Friday, November 03, 2006

Sojourn with Me

Hi there. You may have noticed I'm not posting regularly. That's because I am joining the Peace Corps and will shortly be relocating to Namibia, Africa. During that time, I won't be posting here at the slinky. Please visit me here to catch up on what I'm doing!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Photos from Muller

Nathan and I went to Muller a few weeks ago and Nathan took these photos. I like them, which is rare.

Monday, September 25, 2006

this is me

Because I need to host my photo somewhere, here I am :)

Sunday, September 17, 2006

a brief history


Did you miss me?

Hope so.

Life has been rather hectic this last month or so. It's been a blur of paperwork, activity, running from one place to another, taking a vacation, losing a beloved pet, near heart attacks caused by Peace Corps medical office and finally, a bit of relief.

I spent the first three weeks of August tutoring 3-4 times per week and running from one medical appointment to another. I finally got all medical paperwork sent off on the 22nd, just in time for my vacation the following week. After a great week of fishing and relaxing in my hammock, it was back for more paperwork for PC medical and tutoring. I also had to make the most difficult decision of my life on Monday, September 4. My kitty, Watson, wasn't doing so well and I decided it was time to put him down. I never want to make that decision again. There is nothing worse than feeling like you've killed your most faithful friend. There will be a Watson shaped hole in my heart forever.

To heap more on my already overflowing plate, the PC called on Monday, the 11th, leaving a message to call them. I called, 12 times over the next 4 days, until I finally reached the nurse on Friday. They needed a statement from me saying that the tumor I had removed in 1991 was non-cancerous since my dr's office failed to put that in the report. Thankfully a fax would suffice and I got it off right away. I now have medical clearance for PC service!!

So this week, I'm just waiting for my invite. As soon as I know where I'm going, I'll let you know. Pray it comes quickly, both to help me get things done and just for sanity. There is so much I can't do until I have that letter in hand. Like most of the rest of my life :) (or at least the next two and a half years of it!).

Well, that's me. Leave a comment and let me know what you've been doing lately.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

the whirlwind of my life

At last, a free moment. A chance to post. Breath. Okay.

So, you all caught the part about me being nominated for Peace Corps service, right? Good. Glad to know you are reading. So I find out the following day that I need 40 more tutoring hours to fully qualify for the November position. I'm thinking "Yeah, no problem, I'll just get that pounded out in the next month despite the fact I have no one to tutor and I know the library program isn't worth my spit and so on, no problem at all." Thankfully, I have a strict "no panic" rule that I live by. It's been a lifesaver on more than one occasion.

So I said a little prayer that went something like, "Okay God, you got me into this, you shoved and I went scampering through this door. I'm willing to do the work but I need some divine help on getting someone to tutor." That was on a Friday.

By Monday morning, I had a student who not only wanted a tutor, but wants to meet several times per week! I'll have the hours done before I go on vacation at the end of August. I'm still pretty blown away by the whole thing and how it's working out. I guess when God is ready to move, He doesn't putz around!

I adore my student, Johana. She is the wife of a co-worker and they moved here from Guatemala just over 2 years ago. Her English is not bad at all, she just doesn't have the confidence to do things like shop on her own, or banking or talking to the doctors about her young daughter. And cooking. So I'm helping her with vocab and practicing conversation. Tonight, we met at her house because her husband is out of town and she couldn't find a baby-sitter. She knew we were going to be working on veggies, so she made stir-fry. Sadly, I had dinner before I went (not knowing she would be cooking), but I managed to eat some anyway. To not eat would have been rude.

So that's what I've been up to these days. It's been a great adventure. As soon as I get an invitation I'll create another blog just for updating while I'm away! Keep your eyes open.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


I felt like a credit card commercial today.

New shirt for interview: $17.50
Gas of tank to drive to interview: $20.00
Parking: $6
Getting nominated for Peace Corps service: priceless

Yep, that's pretty much how I feel today :)

If all goes well with the medical clearance, I'll be leaving for Africa in November. Breath now, yes, I did say November!!!!!!!

Priceless, really.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

baby steps

It's finally here (well, almost). I have an interview for Peace Corps tomorrow. 11 in the morning. I can't wait. It makes it seem so much more real to be getting official mail and phone calls from them now.

Say a little prayer for me. I'll let you know how it goes.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

I am Rain

You Are Rain

You can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming. Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you.

You are best known for: your touch

Your dominant state: changing

What Kind of Writer Should I Be?

I thought this was kinda fun, given I'm already a writer :)

You Should Be a Film Writer

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind.
You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life.
Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling.And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

I am Midnight

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits.
Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle.
Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it.You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

Monday, June 26, 2006

end of the rope

I did it.

I turned in my application last week for Peace Corps!! Now it's time to wait, but at least the ball is going and is in the other court now. It's a great feeling.

My eye quit twitching. I'm pretty sure it's related to stress. Go figure. I mean, what sort of stress do I have? Just working two jobs (one in customer service, the other herding pastors, which is like herding cats!), and trying to do all my other live things like laundry and dishes and then this whole crazy "lifestyle" eating plan I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving the work at church and I'm getting into shape, so I can't complain, but I am stressed. I'm trying a new product to see if it will help.

Today, I trained a new gal on our team. I don't think I like being a trainer. She has to write 50 perfect emails before I can release her and she got one today, barely. She's not bad, and has more potential than I first would have thought, but it's going to be a long week at this rate.

Alright, that's the news for now. I'm off to search for songs about healing for next weeks service :)

HI Emily!!!!!!!!

Sunday, June 18, 2006

where have all the flowers gone?

Unplug your ears, I have no intention of breaking into song.

Thank you.

I'm just wondering where the time has gone. It's already past mid-June. I'm running around like a headless chicken, banging into every little thing. One of these days I'll drop dead just to get some rest. Until then, carry on.

I set June 30 as my date to turn in my Peace Corps application. It's mostly done, I just need to fill in a few phone numbers and names. Tonight I pounded out my first attempt for the essays. I really liked my first one, then I realized it didn't really answer the question. The English major in me balked and made me rewrite it. The second one is good, I can't complain, but it will always be second in my mind. Then, after two attempts at the first question, I tackled the second. It's too long, but that's what I have friends for. I helped Dara whittle hers down, I know she'll help me. And I have two of my needed three references on board!!

My insides are all a jumble. There is relief that I'm finally getting my application turned in, trepidation that I could actually be called up for service before the end of the year (no Christmas at home!) and excitement that this is really happening! God has opened so many doors and provided for this in every way that it's hard not to get a bit giddy about the whole thing.

Ready, change subjects.

This morning, during church, I got a twitch in my left eye. It's been going almost non-stop all day. The only time it stopped is when I took a few minutes to relax outside while talking to Dara, and when I actually came down to write my essays. It didn't even cut out when I took a nap today. It's annoying more than anything, hope it leaves soon.

Alrighty then, that's about all I have for you today. Happy day!

Friday, June 02, 2006

midnight dreary

I didn't sleep well last night. This is not a new occurrence, I don't sleep well often, but last night was bad.

For the first half of the night, I felt like I was going to hurl the contents of my tummy. For the second, I was too hot or too cold or just couldn't get comfey.

Part of the problem, I'm sure, is that I have a sticky situation that I have to respond to. I hate these. It's the one aspect of leadership that I dread. Sure, it is easy to lead when things are flowing along and everyone loves you. It's when you have to point out short comings and faults and explain them that it stinks.

I should have gotten up last night and just replied to the problem email, but that would have been bad, so I'm glad I didn't. I'm sure I would have said something without thinking and said it all badly. Still, it would have been nice to sleep.

Oh well. Hope your night was better than mine.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006


There is rarely a day when I don't have the urge to smack someone.

Now, before you rush into a tizzy about violent tendencies, read on.

I work with people, lots of people. I work in customer service, for a lack of better term. And I have learned that while people as individuals can be great, as a large collective, humanity isn't doing so great. I know that we can do great, wonderful things. Like rushing to give blood after 9/11, and helping hurricane victims and sending aid to other countries when needed. We have our high points. But I maintain that for every high is an equal low. Due to the nature of my job, I get to deal with more of the lows than the highs.

Recently, we've been cleaning house on our correspondents. These are people that have agreed to write a child when the sponsor is unable or unwilling to do so.

You would think that these people would be a wonderful group of people, giving of their time to write to a child half way across the world. We do have some wonderful correspondents. But then, we have some that are just terrible. We are now sorting through the good and bad. Of course, I only get to see the bad ones that require action.

Today, one guy on my list hadn't written to his child in the 5+ years he had been the correspondent! Five years! The little girl is 10. Imagine, she's had a sponsor (kids don't know the difference between correspondents and sponsors) for half her life and she's never heard a word from him. If the guy had been standing at my cube I would have decked him.


Since he hadn't written in the last year I thankfully didn't have to contact him. Rather, I marched myself over to the desk where correspondents are assigned and unassigned. I asked the gal to pretty please right away cancel the bad man and give the child to me. I just couldn't stand the thought of putting her on a waiting list (we have close to 100 kids now who need new correspondents because we are purging the bad ones) and not know if she would get a good writer or not.

Do I have the time and energy to take on a new child? I already have my Karen and two correspondent kids (Lonali and Habiba, both in Africa) and I write to dad's six kids.

I asked myself if I was crazy.

Then I looked at little Lesly's photo. There stood a beautiful little girl who seemed older than her 10 years. A shy smile, sparkling eyes and confidence despite her situation. That's when I remembered that it doesn't matter if I have time- I can make it. It takes maybe 10 minutes to write a letter. Even writing once a month, that's not much of anything. But to Lesly, it could mean the world.

I wrote my first letter to her and turned it in before leaving work. She got a letter that told her how excited I am to get to know her and that we both like to read. It tells her that Jesus loves her very much and made her special. It tells her that I am praying for her.

Yes, she is worth it and I'm crazy. Crazy about making a difference. It's an incredible feeling to know that somewhere, on the other side of the globe, there is a person who has a changed life because of something I did. I've seen it with my Sandra... that little shy girl who I sponsored for 7 years. Today she is a confident young woman who knows she is worth something. Her community is the better for it, her country, the world. All because someone took the time to say, "You are important, you are worth something and I love you."

Okay, I feel better now. I just needed to get that out. There's my verbal smack to people who don't realize that they are destroying the hope of a child. That they are disobeying their call to care for the poor and needy, widows and orphans. If you aren't up to the call, don't answer. Or at least make an effort.

Deep breath now.

If there are any of you out there who want to make a difference, who have 10 minutes a month to change the world for a child, please let me know. Like I said, we have kids waiting. Lots of kids waiting. Post a comment with your email address (if I don't have it already) and say "Yes" to making an impact in a child's life today.

End infomercial here.


Tuesday, May 16, 2006

busy little slinky

So, you've finally noticed that I'm not posting so often :)

There is a great reason for that. You see, since February, I've been working a second job. It's a long story and one that I can't fairly share in full detail, so I'll just say that a position opened up expectedly at church and I was asked to step in. So, since the first weekend of February, I've been spending 15-20 hours working for church and still holding down my regular 40 hour week at Compassion. I am starting to feel like I need a weekend, but I'm not sure when I'll find someone to train as the new me (ie, I used to fill in one weekend a month, now I need a fill-in person!).

While this may sound crazy, working around 60 hours in a week, it's a true blessing, even an answer to prayer. You see, for months, I've been trying to pay off some debt, but it just never seemed to get any smaller. I'd been praying about it and I mentioned often to God that I am more than willing to follow his calling to the Peace Corp, yet I needed some help in getting my debt covered in order to do that. I kept waiting (while faithfully putting as much as possible towards paying it off) for an answer. Well, he answered big time. With this second job, I should be able to be debt free by August!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (happy dance, big happy dance)

So, I want to post more often, and I'll try my best to do so, but give me a little grace. When it comes down to sleeping or posting, sleep is winning out these days!

Other news... I'm painting a bathroom (seems like I can't go more than a few months without painting something, I think that's an illness!). I can't for the life of me think of anything else really exciting that is going on. Wait, I went out for Thai food last week, that was fun. I think I like Indian food better, but Thai was yummy as well.

Okay, I have to go peel wallpaper off the wall now, joy of joys. Have a good evening!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

what I learned today

When eating yummy chicken salad, one should not move to eating the caramel pudding before finishing the chicken salad. Now my salad tastes bland and uneventful but I need to eat it.

How sad for me.

But there is more caramel pudding for when I'm done!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

talking to the nuts

Hello. Miss me? I know you did.

I'm here, just been a bit busy lately. Since early February I've been working two jobs, one full-time and one part-time. I haven't had a real weekend since then, but that's okay. Just means I have to squash all my "weekend" activities into the weeknights. Last week, there wasn't a single night that I got to come straight home and relax.

Anyway, I'm still here, still having lots of post ideas come and go before I get a chance to capture them. I have a few that I want to post for my other site
(Questions For God) and a thought of doing some book reviews here, but for tonight, I'm just going to chat a while.

I got a pedicure this week, the second one I've ever gotten. It was nice and my feet look (and feel) great. If you've never gotten one, I encourage you to splurge at least once. You won't regret it. There is something to be said for pampering yourself from time to time. I've found if you don't, you'll go crazy sooner rather than latter. Granted, some of us are crazy already. Maybe what I think of as going crazy is really going sane. There's a topic for deep thought!

I finished reading a new book last night (well, new to me, published a while ago). It was one of those books written by an "east" Indian (as opposed to a "west" Indian, if you don't know the difference, comment and I'll explain). Or maybe she was British, or of mixed decent, it was hard to tell, but the photo made it look like she was Indian. Very good little story, can't remember the spelling of the title just now but I'll put it in a later post. I felt good about finishing it because I started it in late January and then got busy (with the afore mentioned second job) and just haven't had time to read.

Yesterday at work I got to call a real nutcase. It was intriguing to talk to someone so convinced that her views were God's views. There were several points in the "conversation" (and I quote that only because I'm not sure there was any true conversing going on) that I almost had to hit my mute button because I feared I would laugh outloud! It's going to be the topic for my other blog, so I won't say much here, but it was an experience! It reminded me to be firm and secure in my beliefs but to always turn back to God, no one else, when in doubt.

Okay, it's getting late and I have to clean the kitchen, put out the trash and take care of the litter box (oh the joy joy joy). Hope you have a great weekend.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

in those dark days

Welcome to my first blogging for books attempt. I’ve wanted to do this for a while but due to technical difficulties (mostly, I could never find the site or get the email to actually know the topic, but I digress). This month the topic is the military.

As I thought of what, exactly, I wanted to write about, many ideas came to mind. Yes, I live in a military town. We have the Air Force Academy, Fort Carson, Shriever and Peterson. And yes, I see military all the time. I have friends and relatives in the military or retired from the military. I’m rather patriotic and I admire deeply those who serve. I even cry every Christmas when they air the Toys for Tots commercials where the kid asks the marine if he is Santa and the marine silently takes the child’s wish list. Yeah, tear jerker that one is!

Yet as I pondered what to write about, only one thing kept popping back with any real sticking power. My grandfather.

My grandfather served in the Navy in World War II. I didn’t know this until long after he had passed away. For years, I thought of my grandfather (who died when I was 14) as a grumpy old man who didn’t like his grandkids. See, he was getting older, he had health issues and every time we were around him, he insisted on no noise and no fun.

Then recently, as I flipped through so old photos, I saw my grandpa feeding squirrels and I remembered he used to do that with Vicky and I. Then I remembered that he made wind chimes and let me wear his big boots when I was just a little girl (they came up to my hips). Then I learned he was in the Navy and served during the war.

I think sometimes about what sort of sailor my grandfather was. I wonder what sort of combat he saw, if he lost friends. These are things I won’t get to know because my grandfather, like most WWII vets, has passed on.

I think of my grandma, waiting at home to marry her sweetheart. They married in 1945. I have the quilt my great-grandmother made as a wedding gift. Did my grandma find the same man come home that had left her? Probably not. I don’t think any person who serves in war comes home the same. It’s an experience that changes, that imprints on you. I’ve seen enough stories about war to know that.

I’m proud to know my grandpa served our country, I’m proud to know he did his part to secure our way of life. It has helped me change my view of my grandpa, to see him as the whole person he was, and not just a cranky old man who didn’t like kids. I hope that the scars weren’t too deep and that he had enough love in his life to ease any painful memories.

I’m proud of my grandpa, proud of all the boys who went to war in those dark days. I’m proud of all the men and women who serve today, fighting for freedom and liberty. I’m reminded that every person in our military, no matter their reason for being there, is there to do a job and they do it well. And thousands around the world owe a debt of gratitude to our fine boys (and now girls, too).

I salute my grandpa, and all those who serve. Thank you.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

floating through the air

I had several post topics come to me this week. Wonderful, witty and reflective types.

And can I remember a single one this morning? NO.

Oh well.

In lieu of that, I give you some random reflections on life.

* I have a co-worker who reminds me of a grown, white Urcle (the nerd kid, remember). While the voice isn't quite so bad, his mannerism and dress style are. He also is very nervous. Three times this week I ended up walking behind him in the hall, and each time he stopped and turned round to see who was behind him. It cracks me up.

* I am still waiting on my order from bareMinerals. I sent the check in February, they cashed it on Feb 21, and I still have no makeup. I think this will be my last order from them. They are slow and unfocused when it comes to shipping out orders, but quick to take your money. I found a webshop that has mineral makeup for much less. I'll try them out soon (I already bought brushes from her at less than 1/2 the price BM sells them, and it's the same exact brush!). Plus the webshop has a slightly better color selection, they have a light olive. Turns out I have light olive skin. We don't know where I get it from, but I have it none the less.

* Dad doesn't have a vehicle that works, so he is driving mine. And since gas shot up 20 cents overnight, that's a problem. Hope he can help refill my tank!

* Last night I went to Old C's with some gals from work. I've never been much for socializing with my co-workers, but there are a few that I actually like. It was fun. I also had a Midori Sour, which I love but rarely indulge in. Mostly because Old C's bought my dinner because it was two minutes late (and the manager asked if he could buy it for me, like I was going to say no!). I ate way too much but it was good.

* Vicky has the giggles this morning. I'm so thankful we got her off that drug that was literally drugging her. This is the sister I know and love.

* My cat, Watson, is driving me up a wall. He's lonely and I know the vet would say to get him a friend, but I don't want any more animals. I do very much want some kitty Valium to calm my cat down as I can't stand to be home with him. He meows constantly and it grates on my nerves. I need peace!!!

Okay, that's about it for today. A small glimpse into my world. Don't be frightened!

Sunday, March 12, 2006


I was feeling a bit guilty about not updating recently despite my hectic week. Then I went to do a quick round of visits to blogs I like and found no one has been updating, so I don't feel so bad.

Anywho, my dad finally got moved up to WY and the house is strangely empty. I need to finish up my PC application and submit it soon on top of everything else. And I'm still producing at church for the next few weeks. Looks like the year has no plans to slow down.


Have to keep this short, I need to be in bed by 10 and there is so much to do.

Hope you are all having wonderful, fun filled weeks... post soon!

Saturday, March 04, 2006

as requested

A post, just for all you wonderful readers out there. I've been wanting to post all week, but life got the better of me (and I was sick with a weird digestive ailment for two days on top of everything else). But I'm back, and since I'm still awake, you get something to read.

Update on the care package to Kate, the Peace Corps volunteer in Tanzania. She got it today, everything arrived safe and sound, for which me and my pocketbook are eternally grateful for! Here is an excerpt from her email to me this morning:

I got your package this morning and the first thing I thought when I opened it was, "this girl's sent a care package or two before". You're amazing! The kids will be overjoyed with the pencils, as I will be with the mac and cheese and the girly stuff! You're the best. Thank you so much.

So that made my Friday start off well. It's fun to do nice things for people, especially when you haven't really met (we've only emailed). The whole idea that the more you give the more you get has always seemed a bit selfish to me, I like to think it's just better and more fun to give. I'm a sucker for it! And for the record, the girly stuff was a new bath pouf, two small trial sized body washes, and some serious hair conditioner (since she mentioned in one letter home that her hair was a wreck and wouldn't behave). So if you are ever working in a developing nation or just really far from home, let me know, I'd love to send you a care package!

Okay, other than that, I've been keeping busy at work and we are waiting on the diagnosis for Vicky (which comes Monday). I'll post here about that to fill in everyone Monday if there is anything to fill in.

Okay, it's after 1 am and I should be in bed about now (really, I should have been in bed hours ago, but I had stuff to do for church and once started, it is simpler to finish no matter how late). Dad is already snoring away. Speaking of him, he is finally moving!!! The movers come Tuesday, which means I have more stuff to do around here. Unless, of course, I want all my stuff to disappear to WY!

Night now.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

so nice

I did a good deed today (which helped me out greatly since my boss decided tonight that I was being a snob, this was my redeeming grace).

When Kate, the gal who is in the Peace Corps in Tanzania, emailed to say the kids love pencils, please send some if you get the urge to do so, I did. I had tried to get her a little something put together at Christmas but failed, so I had two or three other things to send including a few boxes of Mac & Cheese, a bottle of serious hair conditioner and some bottles of body wash, along with a pouf and a Christmas stocking. So this weekend, I go out and buy 5 boxes of pencils for a $1 each and added them to the box.

I finally got around to mailing it this morning.

Turns out mail to Tanzania is NOT cheap.

Twenty-seven dollars not cheap. Almost twenty-eight.

I almost passed out.

But then I remembered the way a child lights up when they get a gift. I saw the faces of the beautiful Tanzanian children that Kate sends and I knew it was worth every red cent to send them the pencils (and Kate the other goodies). I hope they make it there safely.

So, I did my good deed today. Did you??

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

a love affair

In a rare obeisance to Valentine's Day, I give you this little ditty about my longest affair.

And what, you ask, has captured my heart so? *She laughs as she thinks that you know her oh so little* One word: books.

Yes, those dainty little delightful delicacies of paper and ink. Books. I love them. The way they feel in your hands, the way they smell, the way they stand by quietly and let you laugh and cry at the events they contain. A book is always there for you, waiting, ready to to take you on an adventure. They are just truly loveable.

The first book I remember falling for was The Pokey Little Puppy. It's a Little Golden Book and it was one of the first that I read. I loved that story about the little puppy who went on great adventures and was sad when he went without dessert (but I now realize that he was disobedient and deserved to face the consequences for his actions). I read that book over and over and over. I think it is the reason I had a fascination with getting a dog that only recently evaporated.

Since then it's been one book after another. I spent more time in the elementary school library then I did in the classroom. I read every Nancy Drew mystery they had (and found a few they didn't at garage sales), I read my copy of Little Women ragged. I devoured every book I could get my hands on (including some of the romances my mother had that I probably should not have read, but hey, I was young and none of it made sense at the time).

I discovered the joy of buying and owning books. There was (and still is) something about buying a book that takes my breath away. It's a treasure chest and you don't know what you'll find when you break open the cover, but you know it's going to be something amazing. I remember the days in school when the Scholastic book club flyer came out. I'd pour over it on the way home and tell my mom which ones I wanted. I didn't always get them all, but I usually could swing a few (and they were cheap, wish I could go back and buy more!).

As I mentioned, I read a few books ragged. Little Women, James and the Giant Peach, just to name two. I re-read books. No one every told me I couldn't. I grew up thinking everyone who was anyone (i.e. anyone who is anyone was a reader) re-read books. Why read it in the first place if you weren't going to keep reading it over and over? What a waste of paper to only read it once. It never crossed my mind that people only read books once. Sure, there are a few I've never gone back to, but so many more that I do revisit. They are old friends. I never knew why I went back, per se, but I did.

Then not so long ago I learned that there are people out there who read, they read a lot, but they don't ever re-read a book. Honestly, when I heard this, I about had a full out stroke. The horror! To leave a book after one reading it like leaving the table after the first course of a meal. You may think you are satisfied but you have no idea what you are missing in the following courses.

When I tried to reason with the person who revealed this disturbing fact to me, she thought I was the crazy one to re-read a book. Her thought was, "I've read it, it won't change, why waste time reading it again." I nearly died on the spot. So here is what I told her.

While the words on the page may not change (indeed, they should not), you are not the same person from today to tomorrow from yesterday and therefore you can never read the book the exact same way you did before. And books are more than a stroll through the park on a sunny afternoon. To get their power, to learn their lessons, you have to spend time with them in the dark, in the wee hours of the morning, in the long winter days and chilly spring afternoons. There is no way to catch every offering a book has on one read. And you'll never learn as much about yourself if you limit the experience.

I've ready most of Jane Austen's books five or six times (at least). Every time, I learn something new about Austen, about her characters and about me. Each time I visit with those dear friends of mine, I have changed, I may understand a character more or less, or see eye to eye with the author in a way I couldn't before, because I had not yet grown tall enough as a human being. The same thing happens with all my favorite books. I believe for a book to be really great, it has to pull you back, make you want to read it again, keep looking and digging to find each precious moment, word, look and secret.

The other gal conceded that I had a good point. I challenged her to recall a book she really enjoyed and try reading it again. We'll see if she takes me up on it.

So, that's my great affair, the deep love I hold. If you want to make my head swim and knock me off my feet, forget the jewels, forget candy and even the flowers. Take me to a bookstore and tell me to pick one. Let me wander the isles, soaking in the wonderfulness. Surprize me with a new selection from an old friend or a new voice. I'll love you forever.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006


You know the old adage... when it rains... well, that's life for the past few days.

Let me explain (pause) no, takes too long, let me sum up.

I get a call Friday from my worship pastor asking if I'm available to step into the role of producer for "a few weeks" while some of the regular staff are "away". I've had a feeling that this course could happen and likely should happen and I'm in full support of everything (yes, I'm being vague but that is because I won't gossip and I can't be more specific without risking the perception of gossip, so I'm trying to watch what I say here) and of course, I agreed to step up because that's what I'm here for. Not a big deal, but enough to take up a significant amount of time for the next month or so.

Then, I remember that I need to go to my sister's staffing (it's a yearly review where everyone involved in Vicky's care gets together to see how things are going). So I arrange to get off early and go to that today.

Then yesterday I get phone messages from both parents, in one day (which never happens) and they both sound grave and just say "call me as soon as you can". So I finally get a in touch with my dad. He tells me that Vicky's host mom took her to the doctor for a check up on a "rash" she's had on her breast for a while that isn't responding to the antibiotics, and that the only other thing the doctors can think of is that given Vicky's situation, age and medical work-up, there is a good chance that this might be breast cancer.

Add this on top of the fact that we are missing two key people from staff at church due to unresolved issues in their lives, that the wife of another key figure is mysteriously ill and the doctors can't find a diagnosis, and now Vicky may be facing serious health challenges, and I see red flags everywhere. The Evil One is on the warpath.

I'm just wondering if he didn't learn his lesson well enough the last time... he can't win. We are on God's side and that about says it all. So your prayers for everything are appreciated, especially prayers for restoration and health. And somebody send me an umbrella and galoshes if you don't mind.

Monday, January 30, 2006

grasping cotton candy

So, I didn't get a part in the play. I'm half disappointed, half relieved. It means that I may get some sleep this spring (I'm still deprived from the last show) and that I should have time to work on my novel and other pursuits that have been put on hold for a while. But it means I won't be part of that group that is doing the play. I'll miss out on the friendship and bonding, which was part of why I even tried out. Oh well, c'est la vive.

I'm toying with the idea of telling you all about a dream I had week or so ago... can't decide if telling it outloud will make it less wonderful or more so. Right now, I'm thinking some of my readers will understand and take it for what it could be and some will laugh and make it a silly little dream. I don't want it to be a silly little dream so I may keep it under wraps a bit longer.

I got a tape back last week, a tape that had been "missing" for over two years. I had loaned it to a friend who moved and left it with a roommate. Turns out her former roommate and I are both terrible at making contact and I had given it up as lost. A sad thing because it had a very special message on it. But lo and behold, I got an email out of the blue last week saying she found it and wanted to get it back to me. I finally got to listen to it again last night. Made me cry. I had forgotten so much of the message, and even more of it was clear this time (or maybe, less was clear, but they were new parts that had been foggy before, can't tell just yet). I needed to hear it now, I needed it just this week and here it was. Thanks to all who had a part in brining that tape back to me.

I think it's time to go read a book... about a dreamer. I started The Alchemist this weekend and so far it is great. Can't wait to finish it. I have a feeling it is the right book at the right time as well. Anything to pass the waiting hour.

Hope your week is off to a great start. I did my taxes tonight and though I'm not getting as much back as I had hoped, it's still a chunk of money that can help pay for my sponsorships so when I go to PC they are taken care of. Actually, Sandra will be graduating sometime soon so I only have to worry about Karen. Since she's only 5 she had better be around for years to come! I'm not ready for Sandra to go but I know she has all I can give her and more. She has Jesus in her heart and a good head on her shoulders. She's smart, pretty and isn't afraid of life. I love that girl like crazy.

Alright, book time. Go on, curl up with a classic. Tell me about it in the comments...

Thursday, January 26, 2006

pins and needles


I'm not good at it.

It sucks, and I mean big time.

Yet it appears to be the thing I do the most of these days. For example, right now, I'm waiting for a call to find out if I'm in the play or not. I'm also waiting for my toes to warm up, waiting for the time when I can leave for Peace Corps, waiting for that special someone to sweep me off my feet. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

I hate it. I feel like life is out there, happening, and I'm stuck in the far lane of traffic, unable to get to the action. I feel the minutes of my life ticking by, fading into oblivion, into a universe that I can't visit. And they are gone, my minutes are gone. My hands are tied against doing anything but waving at the minutes as they traipse out the door. I feel like I should be doing something, anything, but there are walls everywhere and I'm fresh out of dynamite to bust through them.

Ever feel like that? While it's a horrid feeling, it would be nice to know that others feel it too. I keep trying to make the most of each day but when each day is a copy more or less of the day before, you start to wonder what exactly is the point.

What are you waiting for? What holds you back? These are the questions I'm pondering now. Seems like the only thing useful in the waiting is the thinking, as long as I don't do too much of that. I over analyze, I've been told. I'll chew on things until they are unrecognizable fragments of the thoughts they once were. Too much chewing is bad for the heart so I try to keep it to a limit, but the longer I wait, the more I think and the nasty little cycle starts again.

So, I think I'll go read one of my new books and try to not wait for that call. Why I'm anxious about a call that is going to say "thanks but no thanks" I can't quite figure, but I'm trying not to think about that to much.

Farewell. Good night sweet void, please be kind to my minutes as they fly through you tonight.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

yeah, yeah

Yes, I'm still alive. Yes, I plan to post. Yes, I'm fine.

Just been a bit busy and then our internet went down at home then I was housesitting for a family with no wireless and no idea how to get logged into their computer, so, I've been "away".

Anywho, I have auditions tonight for the upcoming Spring play at church. If I don't get home too late I'll post more then!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

a bit late

Happy New Year!

Yes, I made it to 2006 and I rung in the new year by reading a book. I took pause at midnight to wish my bird and my cat good tidings and then went back to reading.

I'm very sad to report that this year appears to be moving just as faster, or even faster, than 2005 did. I was praying that time would shift down a bit and take the leisurely path to the future, but no such luck. I've been working all week between watching Firefly (!!!!!) and the movies I got from Blockbuster Online (one month free thanks to Papa Johns, so I took it!). Anywho, yes, I'm still here.

I hope to update more often this year but I make no promises. My only resolution is to apply (and be accepted, of course) for Peace Corps. That entails a lot, like paying off my small amount of debt (which means working longer hours to make more money), getting into shape, getting things in order and so on. I'll likely be posting more here about that, so stay tuned.

Well, break is about over and the phones beckon (darn phones), so I'll say adieu for now.