Wednesday, April 27, 2005

paint fumes

My lead painter injured her leg this week and that throws her out of the running for Paint Queen. Dara and I, as Paint Princesses, must step up to the plate. That means I'll be spending lots and LOTS of time at church over the next two weeks. More than normal, I mean.

My new position has been put off a week because the department director can't take a hour to listen to the proposal. Granted, he made time to come the Sexual Harassment Awareness Training that he had ALREADY taken, but he can't take a little hour to make the world a nicer place. Did I mention the training was four hours long?

I suppose I can hang in there one more week, but two weeks ago I had myself set to hang on for two weeks, and now I'm pretty much out of rope. I don't want another week of dialer and hang ups and people who don't pull their share. But such is life. I'm thinking of moving to Italy because I'm sure things like this don't happen in lovely villas in Italy.

And then I'll wake up, screaming.

Have a good one!

Monday, April 25, 2005

a bad example

All of us learn by example, it's part of our nature. Adam and Eve sinned, we all sin now. Usually, we think of setting a good example for those who come after us, and we look to our "examplers" to set a positive and right example for us.

But it doesn't always work that way.

Sadly, many children learn the bad habits of their parents, which is part of why abuse is so rampant in families. The kids learn that by yelling, hitting, etc, that they can get their way. So they grow up and have an abusive relationship and teach their own children the path of abuse. Granted, sometimes it is not as serious as abuse, maybe you are just not competent with money, your parents weren't and your children likely won't be.

I've had my share of bad examples in my life. Bar marriages, poor child raising, bad lots of things. Thankfully, I am also aware that these are bad, they are examples that should be learned from but not followed. Thank goodness we also have the capacity (should we decide to use it) to learn from our own mistakes and the mistakes of others. I hope I can do this. I want to, I keep a watchful eye out. If I sense a bad behavior rising up in me I try to squelch it.

All that to say that this weekend another shining example of how not to improve your marriage was set at my feet. It amazes me that some people just don't get it. That there are people out there who truly have no idea that the chaos that is swirling around them is cause by their own actions. People who don't get that what is in your heart comes out much clearer than any words you can say. Remember, ACTIONS, in all their shining glory, speak louder than WORDS, no matter how well crafted. That your eyes, the proverbial windows to your soul, really do show where your heart is. And lipservice doesn't get you any father now than it has in the past.

I hope we all can learn from this situation. I've already learned that you have to keep relationships in the right priority listing (God, family, friends, the rest of the world) and that you have to live with the choices you make. Just because you want something doesn't mean you are going to get it or get it in the way you want. And sometimes, you can't have cake and ice cream too, you have to pick one or the other. And we are held to our actions, God rarely removes the consequences.

Okay, sorry if that is a little heavy. I've been in hiding all weekend since our house was invaded by said person with the history of making poor choices especially in her marriage (along with her two children, one of which will never be mistaken for an angel!).

I'll try to be more uplifting tomorrow. On a brighter note, I'm thankful for the rain and snow and I love it when the weather can't make up it's mind.

Friday, April 22, 2005

my inner goddess

I visted (formerly emode) and took a few tests today. Remember, these are for enjoyment only. I liked the results of my goddess test.

Sara, you're a Muse!
Known for your creative powers, you Muses are the poets and musicians of life, the patrons of the fine arts. It's funny, though — even with your inspirational prowess, you're probably not the type to boast about your guitar-strumming skills, or your latest published book of verse.While it's great when people flock to you for ideas, there probably is a part of you that prefers to blend in sometimes — whether dressing in muted shades or staking out a one-on-one conversation at parties and social events. But try as you might not to hog the spotlight, others can't help but notice you. Must be hard to be such a goddess! Despite any lingering modesty, you might be surprised at how much your mere presence can help improve the lives of those around you by infusing them with ideas and good thoughts. With that kind of healing energy, your inspirational ways have the potential to change the world, Muse. Whether you're scribbling sonnets, boogying with your friends, or drawing your own constellations — you're tapped in. So keep your eyes wide open to the possibilities and let that inspiration flow!

hit fast forward, please

I love anticipation. The idea of looking forward to something is nice. Bright spot and all that.

But I don't like waiting. When you've been in the cess pool for years, and you know that a nice clean swimming pool is just around the corner, makes you want to run as fast as your stubby legs will carry you. However, time only moves so fast and sometimes, it drags. This week it has been dragging in the most cruel sort of way.

I was even thinking "isn't there some way I could end up needing to take medical leave for a week?" Honestly, people should not be put in situations where they have to think like this! I want time to start flying and for May to get here. I love April, but I'm singing "Fare Thee Well" right about now!

I had a dream last night that for it was Wednesday (any old Wednesday) and for chapel they stuck me on a plane to Peru. I got to see all my kids but we had to go to their homes and I kept getting lost in the hills. Crazy dream!

The play opens in four weeks! Should be good, be sure to get your tickets early and often!

Thursday, April 21, 2005

the art of keeping secrets

I recently took the Myers Briggs personality test again. I've moved a bit but this no longer causes concern. You see, I'm convinced that people like me can't be measured using such a limited test. It reduces questions to two choices, neither of which actually capture who I am, what I really do, etc. So, while my profile may say that I'm an introvert (I am, but more than it says), I can play the part of the extrovert with ease. It drains me. I'm a very strong perceiver, but I can out list and plan anyone. You see, it all boils down to the fact that humanity has far more potential than a 50/50 test can measure.

Anyway, that wasn't really where I was going. Part of that training was showing this box that has four quadrants, top left is "open", top right is "blind", bottom left is "hidden" and bottom right is "unknown". The concept is there are things in our lives that are open (we know and others know), things that we are blind to (others see it but we don't), some areas that are hidden (we know but others don't) and then the unknown (neither we nor others know about it). The trainer said we should push back the lines so that more and more of our lives are in the open quadrant. I disagree.

There are things about me that others don't really need to know. Especially at this point in life, where I'm single, no kids, etc, the majority of my life is stuff that other people don't need to know. Sure, I'll share insights and thoughts with those I trust, but in general, the world doesn't need to know my every move, thought, and so on.

Now, I'm all for learning more about my blind spots. I want to know me inside and out so that I can change the bad parts, tweak the ones that are out of line, be a better person. I know some people who live with almost no open part and tons of blind. And a normally aware and smart person can have a huge blind spot that is triggered by a friendship (think destructive relationships, the "victim" usually can't see the abuser is acting badly). This is the hardest kind of blind spot to "bring into the light" since that person can't even fathom that they have a blind spot.

All that to say, we live in a crazy world. I'm growing more secretive daily because the less others know, the less my life spins out of control. I trust fewer, I respect fewer. It's harder to earn my trust or respect. I don't plan on becoming a hermit, but it has some enticing aspects. Maybe it's just a phase.

Now that I've got you all concerned and worried that I'm going postal or something, calm down. Just some random thoughts. Have a good day!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

what's in a name

Now that I have you here...

Have you wondered yet at the name? Names are very tricky things, you have to get just the right one. The name for this new blog came from an online quiz I took. If I had a punk rock band, according to said quiz, it would be called "Amused Slinky". This was taken by a feeling and an object (and I think it fits, oddly enough). I've dubbed myself Slinky Girl because I can and I felt like it.

Finally, I can share the good news that I've been dying to share, since I know that this blog is safe from prying eyes. You see, a week ago, one of the other supervisors at work asked me to transfer to a new team, a non-phone work team, starting the first of May. This is a huge blessing for so many reasons. A: I respect this supervisor (unlike the rest in the department). B: It means that I will get to do things I'm good at with opportunities to shape procedures and work flow. C: NO MORE DIALER, I mean, no more icky, yucky wait for the phone to ring just to be hung up on dialer. D: Flexible hours. Enough said on that! E. A raise in July!!! F: Less time on phones, more time on emails and fixing problems and things of that nature.

There are more, but those are the major ones.

Thanks for stopping by! Don't forget to comment.

a safe haven

I started blogging a few years ago after a good friend put up a blog. I liked the idea of speaking my mind, being witty, having a place where my friends and family could go to touch base and know what I was up to.

Not long ago, my readership began to grow. A guy from church, a few random visitors, friends and family. And co-workers. I don't recall how my co-workers stumbled onto my blog (I think I told them about it, so it's my own fault), but all of the sudden, my blog isn't the freedom ship that it once was. Because of my audience, I feel restrained. I don't like that.

So, I'm starting a new blog. A safe haven. When I need to get something out of my system that I can't post at Ravens Hollow, I'll come here.

Have fun.