near death day

I thought I was joking when I told my supervisor that I would call in dead on Friday.

Then some crazy person tried to run me over this morning. Not once, but twice. The same guy. The first time, he tries to plow into my side coming into my lane. I was at least even with him and he should have seen me, but he didn't. I'm next to the median on my left so I have no place to go. I slam on my horn and when he finally sees me, he just keeps coming. He gives me this look that says "what's your problem?". My problem, sir, is that I'm driving in this lane that you are trying to enter. I'm here first, you are not. You didn't bother to check, you are now less than five inches away from my vehicle and you are about to crash into me.

He finally backs away but then pulls in right behind me (because of course the driver behind me was just as frightened and pulled back as far as he or she could). But we are driving on a new stretch of road (Powers) and it's pretty foggy out. I know a stoplight is coming up but can't see it in the fog, so I start to slow down a bit. Sure enough, when the light pops into view it is red. I come to a nice, peaceful stop. But the guy who already tried to ram me off the road is once again not paying attention. He came within inches of slamming into my rear.

But that's not all.

He gave me ANOTHER look!

Sir, I'm stopped because the light is red. I'm following the law.

At that point I prayed that God would teach him a lesson and please not to involve me and my car in said lesson.

All that plus the bizarre slow traffic flow meant that my leaving five minutes early didn't make a lick of difference. I flew into our parking lot and ran to my desk. But it's moving day for the majority of our department, so there are boxes and people standing around everywhere.

One of my nice co-workers (ie, one I like), says "you've got three minutes" as I rush to my desk and start kicking boxes. I replied with "but my computer takes five minutes to boot up". I made it just barely.

Is there anyway I can arrange a hospital stay for tomorrow? I could use the rest and protection from the crazy people.